Stanley Gordon Mays
Born13th March 1912
Died 5th March 1983
Married to Kathleen Faux 13th May 1940
As I go back over my life the step father who terrified, my half brother and myself and by beating and fisting us was the big baddie, but as I reach this closing chapter of my life I realize that the step father Stanley comes over as quite a jolly good chap on the whole, and not the devil I feared so much as a child. Mother was the hard one and was the one who approached John Logie Baird for the money hopefully in a nice way, but I must admit that I have my doubts because she was the hard one and well into her seventies was still giving me the I don't want you and I don't want your daughter looks. She would phone to talk to Carole my wife not me. As I found out later in life women will fight to hold on to something they think is theirs and will defend their family more than a man. How close was this live in thing mother had with John Logie? Very close as I feel mother was slighted when John Logie was forced to return to his family due to his illness. The occasions mother appeared on his doorstep I so hope that john Logie was pleased to see her. I don't in any way blame them but wished I had been told earlier in life, the facts.
I think Johns wife was a quite genteel person and gave John great freedom in their marriage. I will repay the Bards. I know I am one who would think this as a good honest gesture. In fact think of the fun if I bought 107 and presented it to them as a home in London?
The feelings I have for this man vary from admiration to hate. There is also some love as he did that which few men could do, raise me, another mans son As his life unfolds there will be many things come to light that made him like he was, but to me and my brother Bernard he was a bully. I remember that the beatings we suffered became too much to bear, we lived in constant fear and for me I always had hand me down clothes holes in my shoes and clothes.
I noticed that the children from the orphanage were well dressed and told stories, like my step father of what fun times they had. Often he would beat my mother which ended with much screaming and crying. Bernard and I decided enough was enough so after Sunday school one day we staid behind and spoke to the minister about our plight, hoping to be put in the orphanage. Soon after we arrived home the Minister came to call and to our utter dismay told father what we had said to him. Stanley was quick to appease the Minister and needless to say as soon as he left we were beaten again. This left a mark of not trusting "Church people".
Many years later I was reminded of the occurrence again when a minister of a Methodist church was sacked because he had a affair with someone at his previous church and had not told them. I thought the whole theme of the Christian religion was forgiveness?
The other side of Stanley was he was very intelligent and had perfect manners. Everyone that met him liked him. I will tell his stories as we go deeper into his life but one thing he taught me was: if a lady who sounds young is on the phone say yes madam and no madam but if she sounds older say yes miss and no miss.
First picture of Stanley Gordon Mays taken to send to his father Stanley Andronico
Lambourne is a country village, north east of London and so beautiful. Stanley is central in this photograph his best friend Pogger is 4th from the left and Stanley is 8th from the left.
Looking very Greek he was photographed for his father. We have no news if Stanley Andronico ever received it.
Kathleen had fallen out with her sister olive, saying it was because she let her daughter get burnt, a accident that happened years before. but seeing these photographs I see the reason why, it looks like Stanley had a roving eye. He is smiling and feeling Olives breast then on the next photo he is not smiling and stood away from Kathleen. I think at this time Kathleen was away a lot at Bairds?
Stanley's and Kathleen's Wedding Day. 13th May 1940.
This was taken at 107 Wanstead Park Ave London. Father had just beaten the dog for running away from the photo so I am watching the dog to stop it getting hit again. Poor Bernard is cringing inside at the touch of father.
I seemed to cope with the beatings better than poor Bernard, and in this photo we were told to get out of the way as father wanted a photo just with Elizabeth. I moved well away poor Bernard was in shot!! We both knew he would get hit when the photos came back from being developed, so Bernard had a nervous time waiting. The good news was that he just got told off but was not hit. I felt that is I was going to be beaten for nothing I may as well be a bad boy and deserve a beating, so I did deserve most I got, but again Bernard was the perfect son, washing up and helping all the time and still he was beaten. I think that was the difference between us and that was what allowed me to survive better.
Elizabeth's wedding day was strange as father was very subdued. Trevor Sutton who Elizabeth was marring was disliked by all the family including our cousins. He was very uneducated but in general he looked after Elizabeth. But when Elizabeth was very ill with breast cancer he said that they could not afford treatment. I know for a fact then they had over 60 thousand pounds in the bank but the miser did not want to spend it. Elizabeth died and the sod kept his money. I was told many lies when Liz was ill and I cant wait to see what God has in store for Trevor!!
As I look at Stanley's page I have mixed feelings. When he died I was sad at his funeral yet many times in my youth I had wished him dead. I know the years mellowed him and me. I am forever grateful as he taught me to enjoy reading and at the age of eight I and Bernard were reading Harrison Ainsworths the Plague and all of Charles Dickens books. He also taught me about music and opera and topped it off with teaching us manners. He was a fire loss assessor for insurance companies and for many years worked for Frank Colebrook and Sons in Fleet Street London. Everyone I ever met from his professional life respected him He made friends easily and had many opportunities, but for some reason turned them down. At one time he was offered the job of manage ring a printing works, I was there and the owner said" Name your own price Stanley' but was turned down as I feel Stanley knew he had a lot of bluff and hot air in him.
His father Stanley Andronico who later changed his name to Alexander Anderson was Greek. Stanley Mays his son could recite the Greek alphabet from a early age I suppose to impress his father, or maybe his mother hoped for a reunion with her love Stanley Andronico. Which was not to be and even in his old age he remembered the Greek alphabet There is a saying that Greek men like sex with women for children and with boys for fun. As we grew up our home was frequented by gay men. One we called uncle Len was a really nice man and we were never abused by these men but they would give us baths recto me I loved them coming round as I managed to at least get some love from them as they were always willing to cuddle Bernard and myself. Uncle Will lived in Blackburn and was a wonderful person bringing fun and light into the home when he came to stay. He was a female impersonator and taught Danny La Rue the ropes of the trade. Kathleen also enjoyed their arrival as it meant she could hand over Bernard and myself, and get some peace. Now the questions build up as to why these very nice but gay people found a haven in our home? Was Stanley AC/DC? Why did Kathleen tolerate it? There were frequent violent rows in the home and I feel sure Stanley knew I was not his child. They were just two poor people from Abridge and Stanley was a apprentice to a printer and suddenly they can afford a fine home in a fine area Wanstead? I feel that some deal involving Kathleen going back to John Logie Baird was reached as long as father could have his gay friends. All the gay friends were so nice but one stood out as being different he was Mr. Simpson a very quite man but very cleaver, he mad Stanley a grandfather clock that was electric and kept perfect time. He came once and only mother was at home so Bernard and I got under the table where he sat and pulled the hairs in his legs. he did not kick us or make a sound but just sat there. To this day I feel sorry for doing such a bad thing to such a nice guy.
When we look at the whole Mays story and add it to the Baird story it is no wonder I am exocentric.
Stanley Mays would tell us children great stories of his life in the orphanage, and life at work he loved to do this and I will later add the stories to this page. The nice times were too few and far apart for us boys so our lives were tiptoeing around him, I remember going to a friends home to meet up with their son David Senior who said on our way out to his father " I have your tie on OK dad" Mr. Senior replied "Don't dribble on it" I was stunned at the closeness of son and father as I had never experienced this and would never dare touch anything of Stanley's. As I said I was always in trouble and with Liz as a constant companion I could make up new ways of making trouble. Stanley was working away for a few days so the tension eased in the house. Just before he left he called Bernard and myself to him and showed us a new screwdriver, it was a top of the range job bristling with extras. We were told do not touch this. Well I had a great Idea to tie some cotton to the screwdriver and drop it outside the front gate. We that is Liz and I would be upstairs in her bedroom which faced the front of the house, with the window open. As someone passing saw the screwdriver and stooped to pick it up we would pull the cotton and the screwdriver would plop over the gate to safety. Then on my instruction Liz would run down stairs and re set the screwdriver. This was great fun and we caught many people, some were mad and some laughed. Liz had just set the screwdriver again when round the corner came Stanley! wow fear struck us and there was no time to do anything except go downstairs and greet father. He after greeting every one just said who has been playing with my screwdriver, which still had the cotton attached. That was the end of the story I escaped a beating why to this day I don't know. He did have a good side and reading Dickens and books by Harrison Ainsworth was one as my earliest memories are tied up in these authors and I soon found out that a quick escape when you felt lonely was a book as the book also gave me love. I fell in love with Helen Keller after reading her books.
As we lived around Stanley's moods we found out if we could transport him back to his early days and get him to tell stories of his youth the mood would change and we were safe for a few hours. It did begin to get harder to divert his mind as he cottoned on to what we were doing but the position of center stage and relaying stories of his youth was too much, and with gentle pushing he would settle down, and relate:
One day at Whites Homes where he was placed as a child the main and only woman in there lives was matron who mentioned to the boys " if you find any buttons on the floor please bring them to me as I am very short of them". The boys decided to hold a show and the admission entry fee would be one button. The show was a great success and a large tin full of buttons was collected. When they proudly went to matron to give her the buttons she was fuming as the boys had been cutting buttons off of there clothes to gain entry to see the show!
Stanley and his best friend set out one day to catch a rabbit for dinner as meat was expensive. Abridge was surrounded by lush green undulating fields, divided by bushy hedges. At that time Stanley lived with his mother and step father Page at 1 Hoe lane a country lane that was lower than the surrounding fields so as you walk your eyes are level with the hedge bottoms where rabbits hid. Armed with a heavy stick each they set off the boys had done this so often in the past that there was no need to speak and scare the rabbits, as they instinctively knew each others minds. Spotting a movement in the hedge bottom Poddger, Stan's friend hit it with a great force hoping to kill the rabbit with one blow. To the boys utter astonishment a man and young lady jumped up screaming and cursing as they had hit the man full force on the head. At the end of the story Stanley would always shake his head and say "It's a wonder we didn't kill the poor man, boy was he mad!" it seems that they managed to set the four minute mile record going to home and safety.
Traveling to appraise the damage to a printing works in Northern England Stanley was staying at a small bed and breakfast where he had often staid before. This time was different as the b&b was full so they asked Stanley if he minded sharing a room with another man. Stanley said it was fine and set off to his days work. During the day he managed to find and buy a fine antique sword which for ease of transportation on public transport he strapped it to the side of his suitcase in it's sheath. Arriving at the guest house for tea the other guests began to tease Stanley about shearing his room and told him that his room mate was slightly insane and could be dangerous. Proudly showing them his large antique sword he said " Any bother from him at all and I will run him through with my sword" then Stanley retired before his room mate arrived home so never met him. The next morning at breakfast there was lots of laughter as the other lodgers had told the roommate that Stanley was going to "run him through" with his sword and the poor man was so terrified he spent the night in a chair in the lounge.
This picture shows Stanley's smug self assurance
Stanley worked for Frank Colebrook and Sons in Fleet Street London and sometimes he would take us boys with him. This was wonderful as he knew London so well. Then later we would sneak of and have fun in St Paul's Cathedral. One day as Stanley was returning home from work on a crowded tube train he was crammed next to a man near the door. The man had a knitted sweater on and as the train moved quickly out of the station the sweater began to un wind and it ended up a small collar around his neck. The guessed that someone on the station was standing on the loose piece of wool so as the train started so the jumper unraveled.
Oops nasty side again!
As I write down the stories from Stanley I remember the good times when he was in a good mood. It always was an uneasy peace but he would take us to the Great London Stations where all the famous steam engines were and get us up to the foot plates. So I have been on the foot plate of The Flying Scotsman just before she set off to Edinburgh, and blown her whistle. We stood on the foot plate of Mallard the fasted train in the world at one time. We have climbed Tower Bridge and been inside Big Ben to see the clock movement. It was such a shame that Bernard and myself lived in fear because when he was good he was very good but too often and too soon the anger would erupt and anybody near felt the power of his temper. The end good note is that Elizabeth my dear step sister was never hit or hurt. This is the strange thing I owe Stanley so much for raising me and never throwing it in my face, and I greatly admired his gifts that God had given him, like an inbuilt charm, a wonderful knowledge of the English language and a love of books, all of which he tried to pass on to us children. He had perfect manners, could recite the Greek alphabet, loved music and Opera.
The nice side. He could have been King had he developed this side. As I look at this picture I know I did not belong and the family would have been much better without me but " THAT'S LIFE" as they say!!
As I look back the fear has subsided and thinking of the good things Stanley taught us, and his lighter side I sometimes wonder if I was not too soft. I do know that both Bernard and myself lost our childhoods which can never be replaced, yet as I look around I know I was a lucky boy. I can only thank Stanley as I am sure he knew I was John Logie Bairds son, yet bought me up admitted he let me know that I owed him and I am sure I did. The down side was that there was no chance of my education going on to University level as he needed to be paid back and the next day from leaving school I was working. All qualifications I have were done at night school. Perhaps my readers can begin to understand the love hate relationship with my step father.
As I continue with my life and try to survive, I look back at Stanley and must praise him for taking me on, which I could not have done, but it sadly resulted me becoming a punch bag for both mother and step father. I personally would have prefer the orphanage and a chance of being picked out and loved.
I am so sad deep inside but must never show it.